Washed Up | Kim Steutermann Rogers
Five weeks after leaving her husband, Faith picked up the little plastic replica of Aquaman on one of her daily walks. Its green molded helmet made her think of the thing growing in her belly. Here on a remote islet in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where sea was swallowing earth, she searched for turtles tangled in fishing nets. She’d already freed three.
No one knew about the thing she always said she never wanted. One turtle’s carapace measured three feet. It took an hour to cut off the line wrapped around its flipper. All because fishing boats left nets behind like dirty laundry.
The big guy must have been pushing 90 years old. She knew its flipper wouldn’t work again, its blood supply cut off too long. She had her own dirty laundry. If only her body would have listened to her brain sooner.
She suspected blood supply to her heart or whatever delivered love had been cut off after ten years of marriage. Her heart shriveled to the size of a quarter, the size of a turtle hatchling. If only she hadn’t fucked him that last time. If only she could have cut herself loose sooner.
She found a hatchling inside a child’s beach toy in the shape of a starfish on the day she hoisted Aquaman up a tent pole. Aquaman was part of a Christmas manger scene she was creating. No savior here except herself. She cast a brown plastic bear in the role of baby Jesus.
Aquaman transmogrified into AquaAngel. She understood it was a little strange to be creating a manger scene out of marine debris. But everyone plays a role, Jesus and herself included. Was she meant for motherhood, after all?
She understood the revelation taking root inside her as a kind of test. She continued her morning surveys. A month later, the thing in her belly bled out. Faith unwrapped Aquaman from its noose and threw it as far out to sea as possible.
Kim Steutermann Rogers spent a month in Alaska as the inaugural fellow at Storyknife Writers Retreat in 2016. She was recognized for “Notable Travel Writing 2019” in Best American Travel Writing. Her science journalism has been published in National Geographic, Audubon, and Smithsonian; and her prose in Bending Genres, Atticus Review, and Hawaii Pacific Review. She lives with her husband and dog in Hawaii. Read more of her work at kimsrogers.com and follow her on social media at @kimsrogers.